


Dog Whistle Politics

by romanticalgirl



Series: Bipartisan Politics [2]
Category: Brothers & Sisters
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 03:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>are you now or have you ever been</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dog Whistle Politics

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, this one is all [](http://inlovewithnight.livejournal.com/profile)[**inlovewithnight**](http://inlovewithnight.livejournal.com/)'s fault. Oh yes. A sequel to [Across Party Lines](http://romanticalgirl.livejournal.com/678431.html)
> 
> Originally posted 12-13-08

Kevin stares at the papers on his desk, not really seeing anything. The walls of the office feel like they’re closing in and what few personal belongings he brought to work with him are already packed in a box, stuffed under the chair closest to the door for when he’s able to bolt out of the office, free and clear.

He knows Robert’s doing interviews, palming off Kitty’s questions and concerns with personality conflicts and gay agendas, with the opposite of whatever arguments he used to persuade everyone that this was a good idea in the first place. Kevin simply told Scotty he couldn’t do it anymore and there were no questions asked and a palpable sense of relief.

“You have a minute?”

Kevin looks up and blinks, more than surprised to see Jason standing in his doorway. He hasn’t seen Jason in ages, not since they split up, not since… “Sure. C’mon in.” He stands up, smoothing his tie and gestures to the seat across from him. “I’m surprised to see you here. Robert said you were in Brazil.”

“I was there for a couple of months. I hear congratulations are in order.” He nods toward Kevin’s wedding ring and Kevin can feel the blush creep up his face.

“Jason…”

“It’s okay, Kevin. I’m happy for you.” His smile seems genuine, and Kevin returns it, though he tucks his hand in his lap so that the ring’s out of sight. “New husband. New job. You’re moving up in the world. Or down, given that you’ve opted to work for my brother after doing nothing but nagging me for supporting him.”

“I learned from my parents’ ‘do as I say, not as I do’ school of education.” He watches Jason, looking for…something. A sign, maybe. “How are you?”

“Good. Brazil was good. The church is good. God is good.”

“I’ve heard he’s great.”

“Well, I have a feeling he’s just as pleased with the election outcome as the rest of us.” Jason grins and shifts in the seat, getting more comfortable. “So. You’re really working for Robert. You’ll have to give me a minute to absorb that, because…I have to admit, I’m having trouble wrapping my head around it.”

“It’s just temporary. Until he finds someone new.”

“Why would he find someone new? I think you’re great for the job, Kevin. You fight with Robert and now it’s not just being pissy. You can actually have some effect.” Jason’s brow furrows slightly, but he keeps smiling. “Not to mention the fact that if the Republicans want to raise money, they could charge admission to your epic battle of wills.”

“I’m leaving the office as soon as Robert finds a replacement.”

Jason leans forward, his hands pressed together and his elbows on his knees. “Why?”

“I can’t work with him.”

“Robert’s the same person he was when he hired you, Kevin. I doubt he’s ever misrepresented himself to you. I mean, I sort of did that and you still stayed with me. For a while anyway.”

Kevin ignores the slight dig, knowing Jason’s earned it. Besides, he can’t think about that when his mind is still a miasma of everything he’s learned. “It’s not that he’s a different person, Jason. It’s just that…I know him better. And I don’t like what I know.” Kevin rubs his hand along his jaw and looks toward the window. “Do you do confessions in your church?”

“Only Catholics do that, Kevin. I mean, if a person comes to me, of course I’ll listen to them if they need to talk, but we don’t have a special little room for it and we don’t dole out penance. Why?”

“If someone told you something and you…you were…disgusted by it…”

“Kevin.” Jason sighs and leans back in his chair, slightly exasperated. “You’ve already made it clear how you feel about what Robert did during the war, about his voting record. I don’t think there’s anything he can do that would _disgust_ you. Robert’s a decent guy.”

“Is that what you thought when you were thirteen?”

Jason’s face shuts down and his mouth practically slams shut on what he was about to say. After a long moment of silence, he clears his throat. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“When you were thirteen. He was almost twice as old as you. Did you think he was a decent guy? Did you look up to him? Did you…”

“He was my older brother. He was a war hero. Of course I looked up to him, Kevin. He was…Our father had died and he was there for me, a big brother.”

Kevin’s voice is barely above a whisper. “Big brothers don’t do that.”

Jason gets up and shuts the office door, standing beside it and breathing deeply. His knuckles are white from clenching the doorknob and Kevin watches him, seeing things he never saw before. The lines of anxiety that bracket Jason’s mouth, the darkness that haunts his eyes. Finally Jason turns and looks at Kevin, leaning back against the door. “H-How…” He stops and clears his throat, moving his gaze to the left of Kevin’s head. “How did you find out?”

“That’s not important.”

“You know the most powerful secret in my life. I’d say it’s kind of important.”

Kevin chews his bottom lip, not looking at Jason at all. Legally, this is quid pro quo. Tit for tat. Sin for sin. “Robert told me.”

“Robert _told_ you?” Jason’s laugh is disbelieving and edged with pain. “You’ll have to do better than that, Kevin. Robert wouldn’t tell _anyone_ , especially not _you_.”

“He did tell me.” Kevin keeps his voice soft, regulated. Jason looks terrified, horrified and ready to bolt. He looks, Kevin can’t help but thinking, like a very scared kid. “Not on purpose.”

“Not exactly the sort of thing that just slips out.”

Kevin nods, hoping Jason will calm down. Kevin remembers one time in Ojai when Sarah and her friend, Maria, were riding horses. Something had scared Maria’s horse – a snake maybe, no one was ever sure – and the horse had had the same wild look in its eyes before it reared up, nearly trampling Maria in its haste to get away. “No.”

“He wouldn’t tell you. Not…he wouldn’t. There’s _no way_ Robert would tell you. Not this. Not _ever_ this.” Jason shakes his head and his hand twists on the doorknob. Kevin can’t let him go, can’t let him run to Robert and hear whatever story Robert will spin for him. Can’t let Robert be the one to tell him the truth. Kevin owes Jason that much.

“We were out of town. Too much to drink.”

Jason’s hand stops moving and he leans hard against the door, snapping it completely shut. “No.”

“Yes.” Kevin rubs his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “Not my proudest moment, but yes.”

“You. And…and _Robert_.”

“What? Did you think his attraction to men was limited to you?”

“You think sarcasm is helping?.” Jason moves back to the chair across from Kevin’s desk and sits down, looking far older than his years. His voice, when he speaks, sounds nothing like him. “What did he tell you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. It does.”

Kevin looks up and meets Jason’s eyes before clearing his throat. “He told me it was after he came back from the war. Your dad had died and you two hung out together. That he liked the comfort of having you around – someone who looked up to him, someone who was innocent.” He knows he’s adding in words Robert didn’t say, but they seem right, and Jason’s reactions let him know that, even if he’s not exactly sure, he’s pretty close to the truth. “And then one day you…”

Jason exhales a shaky breath and looks down at his hands. They’re tangled together in a tight fist, and Kevin wishes Jason would relax and let them steeple together as if in prayer. “He told you it was me.”

“Was it you?” The possibility that Robert had lied to him floors Kevin for a moment, and he wonders if he’s really that gullible, that stupid. Or if he’s really that enamored of Robert that he’s willing to believe anything. If that’s the case, getting out of this job now is even more crucial to Kevin.

“Yes. Yes. It was me.” Jason blinks rapidly, still staring at his hands. “I was a kid. Scared and lost and…and I had these feelings. Not…not just for boys, you know? But for _Robert_. He was…my dad died, but even before that, Robert was my hero. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to _be_ him, but…but I couldn’t. I wasn’t…I’m _not_ the same kind of man, so the best I could do was get close to him. To show him what I felt, to take a piece of what I wanted. We didn’t…we only had sex once.”

“I don’t think you can use ‘only’ in that sentence, Jason.” Kevin keeps his voice soft, careful. Jason’s mouth curves in a slight smile and he nods, still not looking at Kevin. “That was when you were sixteen?”

“Wow. He…he told you a lot.”

“I think he was a little thrown by the whole event.” Kevin shrugs as Jason looks up for a quick moment before returning his gaze to his hands. “What happened between us, what he said. What it meant.” Kevin’s phone rings, startling them both. He picks it up, answering the question quickly before asking the receptionist to hold all his calls. “How do you…”

Jason shakes his head, the phone call giving him a moment to gather himself, gain some measure of control. “I don’t. I don’t think about it. I don’t…I was a kid. I was a scared, confused kid and I did something stupid.”

“This isn’t about what _you_ did, Jason.” Kevin’s voice rises and he forces himself to tamp it down. “This is about what _he_ did. What he _let_ you do. No matter what you were, no matter what you were going through, he _knew_ better, and he _still_ let you do it.”

“You think I let him have a choice, Kevin?” Jason stands up, pacing the office in long, angry strides. “You think it didn’t happen when it happened because I _knew_ he wouldn’t have the presence of mind to resist it? Do you think I didn’t talk him into bed when I was sixteen? Do you think I’m _innocent_ in this?”

“Somehow I find it hard to believe that you were quite so Machiavellian when you were thirteen years old.”

“Really?” Jason stops in front of Kevin’s desk and puts his hands on the edge of it, leaning in toward Kevin. Kevin’s pulse jumps and he’s reminded again, vividly, of what had attracted him to Jason, what attracts him to his brother. “Given the incredible machinations of the entire Walker clan, I find it strange that you don’t think anyone else could be nearly as deceptive and heavy-handed, even in their youth. Think about kids, Kevin. Think about what we were like at thirteen. Think about what you did, what you wanted.”

“Jason.”

“Why do you think I needed the church so much, Kevin? Why do you think God matters so much to me? He saved me from that. From who I was. I was a messed up thirteen year old, even more so at sixteen. And then I went downhill. Clubs. Drugs. Boys. Robert was the start of the spiral, Kevin, but not the reason for it.” He shakes his head and sinks back into the chair, covering his face with his hands.

“He should have known better.” Kevin’s voice is soft and concerned, though he knows it’s too far past the fact to help. “He should have helped you.”

“He was having his own crisis.” Jason shakes his head and then lowers his hands to rub at his arms, shivering despite the warmth of the room. “He was in no position to help himself, much less me.”

“That doesn’t mean…”

“Are you trying to tell me about right and wrong, Kevin?” Jason’s voice sharpens and he nails Kevin with a glance. “Are you trying to tell me about consequence? Are you trying to tell me about what you have to live with when you do something? What about you, Kevin? Was it right to sleep with Scotty while you and I were still together? Or are you telling me that I was in the wrong for following my loyalty and devotion to God and helping people because I left you alone? I didn’t call. You’re right. I didn’t call because it hurt too much to miss you, and to know that I couldn’t be with you. But that didn’t matter to you, did it? All that mattered was that Kevin Walker was alone and lonely and there was a hot piece of ass nearby.”

Kevin manages not to flinch, only mildly surprised by the heat of Jason’s voice. “I’m not saying…”

“Yes, you are. You want to talk about consequence, Kevin? What consequences are you suffering? You’re _married_ now. You’re living your happily ever after and screwing my brother on the side. Tell me, Kevin, what-” Jason’s voice breaks and he shakes his head. “Where are _your_ consequences, Kevin?”

“Jason…” Kevin cuts off as the door opens, swinging wide enough to show Robert standing there, his attention on the file of papers in his hands.

“Kevin, I need to talk to you about…” He looks up and breaks off, his eyes widening slightly behind his glasses as he sees Jason. “Jay.”

Jason doesn’t say anything, but his eyes burn with emotion. Kevin looks from Jason to Robert and then at his desk. Jason stands up abruptly, nervous energy radiating off him in waves. “I was just leaving.”

“Maybe you could stay. We’ll have lunch.” Robert’s voice is carefully modulated and he’s equally careful not to glance Kevin’s way.

“I’m not hungry.” Jason states flatly, refusing to look at either of them. “Excuse me.” He brushes past Robert, shuddering as their arms touch, and moving quickly toward the door. The air in Kevin’s office is heavy and it grows worse as Robert walks inside and shuts the door, leaning back against it in an unconscious imitation of his brother.

“You told him.”

“It came up.”

“You said you wouldn’t tell him.” Robert’s eerily calm and Kevin can’t do anything but nod. “I trusted you, Kevin.”

“I’m sure Jason trusted you once too.”

“This isn’t about Jason right now. This is about you.” He walks over and sits in the chair Jason had occupied and looks at Kevin. The light glints on his glasses so Kevin can’t quite see his eyes. “I know that you hate secrets. Your family…” He exhales and shakes his head. “I’m beginning to think it’s not necessary that you stay on until I find a replacement.”

“Kitty…”

“You know, right now, I don’t think I care about how your family will react, Kevin. It’s difficult to do that when I’m concerned with what my _brother_ will do given that you just…” Robert takes another deep breath and exhales slowly. “We screwed up, Kevin. Jason and I screwed up a long time ago. But this…this is _you_ screwing up something you have no part of.”

“I wasn’t the only one in that hotel room, Robert.”

“No. You weren’t. But you’re acting just like you were. The Walker sense of entitlement at work.” Robert shakes his head. “I think we’re done here, Kevin. Leave your key at the desk on your way out.”

**

Jason is exactly where Robert expects to find him. The Walkers seem to have a monopoly on all things, but Robert’s better aware than any of them that every family has its hiding places, its secrets, its lies. The difference is that he and Jason are all that’s left of their family now.

The church is empty and mostly quiet, but there’s a distant hum of music coming from the back. Robert passes the pews and knocks on Jason’s open door. “Hey.”

“Go away, Robert.”

“Is this the new choir?” He taps on the CD cover of some boy band that Sophia listens to, tattooed, skinny boys with makeup and likely heroin addictions. “Panic at the Diocese? Faith Out Boy?”

“You’re not funny.” Jason informs him, though he can’t quite control the upward quirk of his lips.

“Cobra Star of David? My Chemical Roman Catholic?”

“Careful,” Jason warns him softly. “That last one hits a little too close to home.” He rubs his forehead and then reaches over to turn the music down. “What are you doing here, Robert?”

“I thought you might want to talk.”

“No.”

“I thought you might _need_ to talk.” He settles into the chair opposite Jason’s desk and stares at the crucifix behind Jason’s head. He’s seen so many variations in his life, but this one always gives him comfort more than it makes him feel guilty for all of the sins he’s piled on Christ’s shoulders. Maybe it’s more to do with the man sitting beneath it than Christ’s visage, but either way, Robert breathes a little deeper. “Or, you know, yell.”

“You told Kevin.”

“Not on purpose. I…Telling Kevin was actually the very last thing I ever intended to do for a myriad of reasons, all of which can be summed up by mentioning that it’s Kevin. But I did.” He closes his eyes, rubbing his forehead roughly. “I didn’t mean any of it, Jay.”

“You slept with him.”

“In the eyes of God? Yeah, probably. In the eyes of Bill Clinton? Not really.” He takes a quick look at Jason and sighs. “I confessed, Jay. I did my penance.”

“You know it doesn’t really work that way.” Jason gets up and walks to the window, the weak winter sun sending a cascade of colors through the stained glass to paint his face. “It would be nice though. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

“You’ve done your penance too, Jay. Paid your price and probably mine as well. Hell, you’ve probably paid for more than even our share. You gave your life to God, Jason.” Robert gets up and moves closer to his brother though he’s careful to still keep distance between them. “I didn’t mean to reopen old wounds.”

“Why him, Robert?” Jason’s voice breaks and he coughs and turns away, clearing his throat. “Of all of the men in the world, why him? Why Kevin?”

“Because he’s strong and opinionated and stubborn and determined.”

Jason nods. “Like his sister.”

“Like my brother.”

Jason’s body jerks in reaction to Robert’s soft response and he shakes his head, stepping further away. “Bobby.”

“Look, Jason, we’re past this. We’re past all of this, and I made a stupid, stupid mistake. I let myself lose control for a moment, and I know it cost both of us. I know I had no right to bring you into it, and I had no right to be there myself, but it’s done, Jay. It’s done and I can’t make it go away any more than I ever could, but I need to know you’re going to be all right.”

“What now, Bobby?” His voice is soft, small and childlike. Robert closes his eyes and remembers that same voice, that same question from their childhood. He’s never had the answers.

“It’s going to be _okay_ , Jason. It will. Kevin will leave the office. I’ll find some way to placate Kitty that doesn’t destroy everything. A lie she’ll believe, a lie Kevin will go along with. As for you and I…I think that’s up to you.”

“Me?” Jason looks at him and laughs incredulously. “Me?”

“I violated our trust, Jason. I said your name, I gave us away.” Robert’s voice is rough with regret.

“I started it.”

“You did,” Robert agrees. “But Kevin’s right. I should have stopped it. But I didn’t. I let you. I wanted to let you. I wanted to not feel what I was feeling, so I let you make me feel something else. I was unfair to both of us, Jay.”

“You couldn’t have stopped me.”

“Yes, Jason. I could have. I always could have.” Robert reaches out and touches Jason on the shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly. “But I didn’t. That’s my sin, and you’re right. Confession doesn’t make that go away.” Jason doesn’t say anything and Robert rubs his thumb over Jason’s collarbone. “It was a long time ago, Jay,” he reminds him gently. “Half a lifetime.”

“Doesn’t feel that way right now. Right now it feels…” Jason looks at Robert for a long moment, his hand trembling as he bridges the distance between them, reaching out to brush his fingers along Robert’s jaw.

Robert’s voice is rough but soft, nowhere near the admonition he wants it to be. “Jason.”

Jason’s fingers move up, smoothing across Robert’s lower lip. “Robert,” Jason replies, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a step forward; his body almost flush with Robert’s.

“Jason. No.” Robert’s protest sounds weak even to his own ears. Jason nods agreement even as he moves closer and Robert’s hand slides from Jason’s shoulder to his neck, feeling the hard pulse of Jason’s blood. “God. Jason.”

Jason moans as he fits his mouth to Robert’s. Robert matches the sound with one of his own, his hand cupping the back of Jason’s head. “Jay.”

Jason makes a low, rough sound against Robert’s mouth, taking advantage of Robert’s bare breath of his name to deepen the kiss, his tongue pushing past Robert’s lips. Robert presses closer in response, his leg sliding between both of Jason’s as he backs him against the desk.

Settling his hands on Robert’s hips, Jason thrusts lightly against him before sliding his hands up Robert’s back, palms hot through the cotton of Robert’s shirt. Robert groans, breaking the kiss for a moment before moving back into it as Jason’s hands slide up to his shoulders, pulling him harder against him. Robert can feel Jason’s arousal, can feel his own as they rub together almost desperately. Jason’s leg snakes around the back of Robert’s and Robert shudders, a hot rush of the memory of Kevin doing the same causing him to gasp, shoving Jason back so he falls over the desk while Robert stumbles away. “Oh, God.”

Jason braces himself on the edge of the desk, his awkward position doing nothing to hide his erection. His skin is flushed, his breath rough and unsteady as he slowly straightens up. His expression is blank, the mask of his professionalism closing him down as he exhales, not looking at Robert. “I think you should go.”

Robert doesn’t say anything, though he nods briefly, careful not to look at Jason as he makes his way out of the church into the open air.

**

The scent of sandalwood and polish, of melting wax and dust makes Jason’s nose itch, but he breathes it in deeply. Everything is lit with the glow of flickering candles and dying sunlight. He can hear the swish of fabric and the distant hum of prayer as he stands at the font, waiting.

 _This is God’s house._ He says the words over and over in his head. He’s never quite believed the sentiment, especially as a kid when no one could ever show him where God slept, and he’d been pretty sure that God would have had a bunk bed somewhere. Growing up, he’s continued to feel the same, sure that God lives in people, not in places. That there are no places that are God-forsaken so much as places where people forsake God.

Still, it does little to calm the trepidation he’s felt since he was twelve, since the first stirrings of desire crept into him, filling him with all the things he’d been taught were wrong, were sins. In _this_ house of God, he is unwelcome for almost everything he believes in, everything he believes. Lightning fails to come when he dips his hand in the font and crosses himself, praying silently. None of the rituals have deserted him, and it’s a comfort he relies on when his world spins out of alignment. The rosary, the prayers, the ceremony and circumstance all provide order where none exists, provides faith when his falters.

He makes his way along the pews, genuflecting when he is halfway down the aisle and slipping along the smooth wooden bench. The hymnals are all worn with use and the cushion on the kneeling stool is slightly ragged, the fabric shiny from wear. He kneels and bows his head, closing his eyes and inhaling. _Let God’s love fill you._ Sermons and parables, psalms and assurances echo through his head, crowding out the peace he’s trying to find. He exhales roughly and lifts his head, opening his eyes and staring at the crucifix. A crown of thorns and carved trails of blood, nails painted in hues of rust and metal and his eyes full of pain overridden by forgiveness.

“Did you die for all our sins?” Jason’s unaware he’s spoken out loud until he hears the soft echo come back to him. “If God is omniscient, then he knew what sins would fall to your shoulders. He knew what people would do, what people _are_. Did you die for all of that? For war and hatred and bigotry and violence? Did you die for rape and murder and mutilations? Is that why you died? Did he tell you what we would do before you chose?”

He was twelve when he first realized that he was different. They’d had a discussion in class about sex, about reproduction, and all the other boys and girls in class had laughed and snickered through the lesson, but he’d stared at the book, mesmerized by the lines of the anatomy. He’d traced the veins and lines of the male body, his heart pounding loud in his chest. He hadn’t known what it meant, hadn’t thought it meant anything until he’d gotten home and stood naked in his parents’ bedroom staring at himself in the full-length mirror.

He started watching the boys in gym as the boys started watching the girls. He’d listened and learned, heard words that he didn’t understand, but could figure out with the help of a dictionary and books he scoured in the library. He tried the labels on himself, hanging them on his shoulders like a coat – homo, faggot, pansy. He didn’t try to draw attention to himself, and for the most part, he managed through it all without anyone saying a word, more concerned over the fact that his brother was somewhere fighting a war than realizing that Jason was fighting one of his own against his own body.

When Robert came home, Jason had needed him to be the man he’d been when he left. He needed him to be strong and brave like the man who had shipped out when they still had a father, when everything had still made sense. Instead, he was quiet and withdrawn and didn’t want to associate with anyone, but he let Jason sneak into his room, let him sit there in silence and read books while Robert stared at the ceiling as if there were answers embedded in the spackling. When it happened, it hadn’t been premeditated. It was just comfort. Jason had looked up and Robert had tears running from his eyes to his hair in dark streaks of dampness. He’d gone to him. Held him.

And then something more.

For a brother to lie with his sister is a sin. For a man to lie with another man is a sin. The first because of what it might produce and the second because it produces nothing. Sins are fears given elevated status. Jason glances at the confessional and can feel the words on his tongue just as he’d spoken them to Robert earlier. _Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned_. Ignoring the booths, he slides from the pew and walks to the altar, climbing the stairs to the base of the crucifix and lightly touching the warm wood. Somewhere there are candles burning for the souls of loved ones, there are flames reaching up to the sky like sinners seeking salvation. _Forgive me, Father_.

He traces the nail embedded in the Christ figure’s foot and imagines raw agony. “Forgive me,” Jason whispers, “if my sin weighs you down.”

**

Kevin opens his door and stops, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Robert inhales and slowly releases the breath, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. “Can we talk?”

“I don’t see that we have anything to talk about.”

Nodding, Robert clears his throat. “Please?” Kevin stands there for a long time before stepping back and holding the door open for him. “Is Scotty home?”

“No. He’s at the restaurant tonight.” Kevin shuts the door behind Robert and heads toward the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Given that’s what got us into this situation…” Robert sighs and sinks onto the couch. “Yes, please.”

“I could take that wrong.” Kevin reminds him, pouring two glasses of scotch and bringing one over to Robert before settling in the chair across from him. “But I think you’re right.”

There’s a thick silence between them for a long time, both of them staring at something other than each other while they drink, only the clink of ice against glass and the faint sounds of traffic outside breaking the quiet. Finally Robert sighs and sets his empty glass on the coffee table. “We have, I think, several issues we need to resolve.”

“No.” Kevin looks at Robert steadily, his face expressionless. “We have several issues _you_ need to resolve to _my_ satisfaction.”

“Pardon me?”

Kevin’s breath comes quickly and he tamps down the rush of heated blood as he refuses to let his gaze waver. “The way I see it, Robert, I have a gun to your head. Personally. Professionally. I can’t prove anything, but I can whisper the suggestion of impropriety on your part into the right ears, and your world crumbles.”

“As does Kitty’s. Jason’s. Yours.”

“I know.” Kevin nods slightly and takes another sip of scotch. “Which is why I haven’t done anything. Yet.”

Robert rakes his hand through his hair, leaving it mussed. Kevin watches him, noting all the small ways McCallister gives himself away. He’s nervous. Kevin can tell that from the constant gestures – tapping his fingers against his glass, running his hand through his hair. Kevin can also tell he’s angry by the terseness of his breathing, the tight sounds of every exhale. It’s disturbingly close to how Robert sounded above him on the bed, and Kevin shifts in his seat to keep his body from remembering too vividly. He hates that Robert still has that power over him, even now that Kevin has all the power in his hands.

“What would you do?”

“I think I would start with Kitty.”

Robert looks as if he’s been sucker punched, and Kevin takes a drink to cover his discomfort. He deliberately stayed in contract law so he wouldn’t have this power over people, so he couldn’t ruin their lives with a few well-placed words. That was the kind of power his father had, his father craved, and Kevin knows it too well, wants it too much to let himself have it. Except now it’s here, it’s his.

“She wouldn’t ask how I knew. She’d assume Jason told me. She’d deny it, of course, but then she’d have to know the truth. She’d ask you, and I don’t think you can lie about this. Maybe I’m wrong. You’ve been lying a long time.”

“I’ve never lied about this. No one _knew_ about this.”

“I guess it’s true that cheating on your spouse is a very dangerous game.”

Robert huffs a breath that might be a laugh and shakes his head. “I guess your secret is safe from Scotty.”

“You could tell him,” Kevin reminds him. “I’m sure that, regardless of what came to light because of it, he’d be horrified that I did what I did. He should be. He should hate me. He should think I’m the lowest form of life on the planet. He should accuse me of being like my father, he should hurt me the way that only the people you love can.”

“But you know I won’t tell him. Not with this hanging over my head.”

“A sword of Damocles you hung yourself, Robert.” Kevin leans back in his chair and rests his chin on his hand, his elbow denting the padding on the armrest. “Is it just him?”

“I don’t have any other brothers, Kevin.”

“You have a son.”

Robert’s face goes pale and frozen for a moment then suffuses with angry red, his blue eyes stark and bright in his face. “How _dare_ you.”

“I imagine that’s what your parents would have said if they’d known you were having sex with your little brother.”

“I never…” Robert takes a deep, shaky breath and drains the rest of his drink. “What do you want me to say, Kevin? What do you want from me? A good reference? I’ll make you sound like the second coming. You want me to appease Kitty? I’ll tell her it was my fault, that I just couldn’t compromise and so you had to leave to keep your conscience clean. You want me to be sorry for what happened between us? Trust me, Kevin, I couldn’t be _sorrier_.”

“Are you sorry for what happened with Jason?” Robert is quiet for a long time, getting up and heading to the bar, refilling his glass. Kevin watches him carefully, waiting until Robert comes back, moving over to the window and staring out at the darkening sky. “Are you?”

“You don’t _know_ what happened, Kevin. You have an idea, and conjecture and…”

“Do you think I’m _wrong_? Am I imagining things, Robert? Or are you going to be a politician and tell me that you only had sex once, so that’s all that counts? It doesn’t matter that you were…what? Jerking off your little brother? Letting him get you off?” Kevin laughs, surprised at how bitter it sounds. “And the Republicans were the ones who sicced Karl Rove on Clinton.”

“This isn’t political.”

“No. It’s personal. What were you thinking, Robert? Tell me. Make me understand, because right now I don’t even _recognize_ the man I thought I knew. This is…he was your _little brother_. How do you even justify that? How do you…how do you _live_ with that?”

“I was doing just fine until _you_. Fuck.” Robert throws his glass and it shatters against Kevin’s door, liquid running down the wood. “ _You_ …God, what was I _thinking_?”

“That seems to be the question.” Kevin stands as well, anger vibrating through his body. “What were you thinking when you had sex with your brother? What were you thinking when you hired me? What were you thinking, Robert? Was it the same thing you were thinking when you were rubbing your dick against mine, coming all over me?”

Robert’s hand clenches into a fist and Kevin can see the desire to throw something else practically radiating off of him. “I thought I could talk to you. I thought we could be adults about this. I should have remembered I was dealing with a Walker.”

“Oh.” Kevin laughs, the sound sharp and dark. He takes two steps closer, his own hands clenched. “Tell me, what exactly is the _adult_ way to react to incest?”

Robert’s jaw clenches, his teeth grinding loudly in the heavy silence. “He needed me.”

“Maybe he did. Maybe he did need you, but I’d bet he sure as hell didn’t need you _inside_ him.”

“You son of a-” Robert cuts himself off at the same time his fist connects with Kevin’s jaw, sending Kevin stumbling away from him. He hits the table and the lamp falls, the light extinguishing with a snap. The fading sun paints the room red as Kevin rubs his cheek, moving his lower jaw slowly. “You don’t know a goddamn thing about it.”

“It doesn’t matter what the details are. It happened and that in and of itself is all I need to know.” He shakes his head. “You should have known better. You _did_ know better and you did it anyway. You took comfort where you had no right to take it. You used him.”

“I didn’t use him.” Robert closes the distance between himself and Kevin, grabbing Kevin’s shirt in his hands. The fabric wrinkles and Kevin looks at him, his breath caught somewhere in his chest. “I didn’t _hurt_ him.”

“You didn’t? Are you sure? Everything that happened after? Everything else he did? That wasn’t because of you? Or is that just what you have to tell yourself to get through the night?”

“You know,” Robert growls, his whole body shaking as his fists tighten in Kevin’s shirt again, tugging him close. “You know what I need to get through the night.”

Kevin’s not sure who initiates the kiss, who it is that takes things from the edge of anger to the hard, crushing pain of Robert’s mouth on his. Kevin’s hands tangle in Robert’s shirt, jerking it free of his jeans and pulling it up over Robert’s head. Robert wrenches his hands free and tosses the shirt on the floor, moving back into Kevin before either of them can breathe. They stumble back to the wall, the windowsill digging into Kevin’s back as Robert undoes Kevin’s slacks, stripping the zipper down as he bites Kevin’s lip hard, sucking on it when Kevin moans.

Kevin tugs his own shirt over his head, pulling back just long enough to do that before wrapping his arms around Robert, bringing them closer, the rough hairs on their chests tangling and rasping together. “This is all your fault,” Robert growls at him, his hands at Kevin’s hips and shoving his jeans down. “You did this.”

“You,” Kevin says with a rough shake of his head, stopping the motion to kiss Robert again, teeth and lips rough and hungry.

Robert doesn’t say anything else as Kevin’s hands slide up and down his bare back and then to Robert’s jeans, pushing them down so the denim falls to his knees like Kevin’s, their bodies flush against each other, cocks hard and hot. Robert braces his hands against the window and the wall, taking over the kiss. His tongue explores Kevin’s mouth, rough and demanding as his body slides against Kevin’s.

Kevin can’t help the low groan that Robert mutes with his kiss, the sound reverberating between them. He reaches down, wrapping his hand around both of their erections, holding them together and stroking with the same urgency that Robert’s tongue plunders his mouth. Robert gasps another muffled sound and Kevin answers him with the sharp thrust of his hips, the tightening circle of his hand.

“It was good,” Robert hisses, his fingers digging Kevin’s skull, holding him painfully close. “We were good.”

“This is good,” Kevin groans, his hand stroking hard and fast along their lengths. “God, so good.”

“Hate you,” Robert curses against Kevin’s mouth before deepening the kiss, his hips rocking in time to Kevin’s hand. “I hate you.”

“Yes.” Kevin’s unsure if he’s agreeing or just feeling as his body shudders and his back arches, straining toward orgasm. “It-it’s m-mutual.” Robert’s response is buried against Kevin’s neck as his teeth capture skin and Kevin’s entire body jerks, his orgasm spilling over his hand, over Robert’s hard cock. Robert grunts a hot breath where his teeth had just grazed and comes as well, slumping against Kevin and pressing him to the wall.

Neither of them speaks for a long time, too busy struggling for breath against each other’s skin. Finally Robert pulls back, a shaky breath dancing across Kevin’s neck and chest. He rubs his hand roughly over his face, unable to move too far as Kevin slowly unwinds his hand from around them both. “Kevin.”

“You got my name right this time.” Kevin inhales sharply as Robert pulls away, his body aching in too many places to name from the intensity and pressure of what they’ve done. Robert gives him a cutting look and Kevin glances away. “I won’t tell. I can’t tell.”

“No.” Robert grabs for a box of Kleenex and cleans himself up, not looking at Kevin as he tugs his jeans back on, fastening them before looking for his shirt. “But we can’t work together.”

“No.” Kevin does the same as Robert, gathering the soiled tissues and disappearing into the kitchen to bury them deep in the trash. He can still feel the sting of Robert’s teeth on his neck, almost more than he can feel the dull throb of his earlier punch. He can also tell, without looking, that Robert is in the kitchen doorway, watching him dispose of the evidence of what they’ve done. “So what do we do?”

“We don’t work together anymore.”

“We’re not alone together anymore.” Kevin exhales. “And you can tell Jason he’s…safe.”

Robert laughs roughly and shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m not going to be talking to Jay for a while.” He gives Kevin a look and then glances at the coffee maker. “Is there coffee?”

Kevin nods and pours them each a cup, realizing as he does that they’re already violating whatever truce they’re trying to arrange, they’re hedging back toward the dangerous waters that drown them in this in the first place.

Robert blows out a breath. “Jay and I are…in need of a cooling off period.”

“Is that what we need?”

“Well, he and I are blood related, so short of disowning each other, we’re kind of stuck. You and I…” Robert shakes his head and sips, making a face at the slightly dull taste of age. “I don’t know what we are, Kevin.”

“Nothing. We’re not anything.” Kevin knows he’s lying, and Robert’s look lets him know he’s not the only one who does. “We _can’t_ be anything.”

“No,” Robert agrees. There’s a long silence as they drink their coffee, both of them aware that, come Monday morning, Kevin will be in his office and Robert will be in his and, whatever this is, it isn’t over. “No. We can’t.”  



End file.
